Can I go to bed yet?
Also tattoo design. I have one planned for this next month.
I will fully confess now the lack of which I have been slacking in my duties regarding worship.
And in another reality I have been doing what I should be as Apollo and Hestia are my primary points of worship.
I quit my old job after one particularly cold day in which my employer demanded I very possibly die so that he can make, at most, $4 that day of business. This past winter was insanely brutal; I would like to cite a night in which it was -30° Fahrenheit, before the wind was factored in. Certainly there have been worse winters here in the past, but these predate my living here.
As my job was at a public market, you can imagine this winter was not very busy. On a busy weekend day, that would account for ~$200 dollars. This particular day in question was a Tuesday, objectively our slowest day, in which we might have, if lucky, had one sale, average sale being $4 dollars. $10 if really hungry.
I am not going to die for four bucks.
Fast forward, I am now working a part-time maid job. :)
Also playing den mother to the house I now live in, with the man I am currently in love with.
I am trying to get better at cooking and have prepared dinner for the boys every day this past week, and about half of the breakfasts (normally lunch is work time, so that is normally on them.)
I am hoping to have my altar set up again soon; my Hera statue looks alone on the kitchen chair.
I am all set to go to college again in roughly two weeks’ time. I will be starting to get the prerequisite classes for the nursing program down, and hopefully this time next year I will be working in a hospital, if nothing else as a transporter or anesthesia tech.
So when I am able to fully pray and worship again, I hope they are not angry. I trust the theoi know life occurs. If they want something as penance, they will of course receive. But I do not see them as that immediately vengeful as as much as possible I have not, as far as I know, committed some indelible heresy.
So here I am, attempting to reaffirm myself in my religion. It was very good to me in a time I needed it, and even when I did not.
Okay I have been a very bad reconstructionist lately, but I have an excuse!
…Kinda, I guess, but not really.
I got sucked into lots of working and lots of D+Ding and… er, panic attacks 5 times a day. (I wish I was kidding with that number, sigh.)
Much drama with the male, so I was single for a bit and now I am not anymore. He actually owns a house so I can probably do Hestian things at it! :P
I probably won’t because I only recently started spending time with this mister, but I may be developing a bit of a poly relationship with him. Also he has given me a few understandings about my reality, I think.
He is into the daddy-daughter thing, and while I didn’t get it I wasn’t actively disturbed by it or anything. Though some of my friends were all NOPE.
To me, I don’t have a daddy, so to me it is not at all like my father, because I never had a strong male figure in my life. Being a Navy brat does that. And then on that note… that may be very well why I have trouble comprehending Zeus on some base level. He strikes me as the strong and silent fatherly type, but I am barely aware my father is any type. (Also, his type is troll / county boy.) To me my dad, Daddy, and Zeus are all entirely separate beings, to coalesce them into one catchall of masculinity makes no sense.
But, hey, since hanging out with him I’ve only been panicking maybe once every other week, which is a much better alternative to 5 times a day. And I kind of like him, so I’ll be interested to see where it goes. He’s a very interesting + intelligent person.
So nobody’s read my blog in forever according to my stats page, and that’s okay, because I know I pretty much dropped off of the grid except for AIM and Facebook, which isn’t really any readers except one.
So I owe something right? XD
Let’s see, let’s see, let’s see…
I bought a bookshelf yesterday and moved my altar back from the table in my closet. I like the closeness of my closet when doing offerings and prayer but I also really like having my altar as a focal point ; it’s really pretty and calming, if not very symmetrical in it’s design.
I would really like to get an Apollo statue next — I know Zeus makes more sense because the statue I have now is of Hera but… I feel like Apollo is going to play a lot more in my life very soon, along with the feeling I get of him as more of a patron for me than Zeus is (as much as Zeus isn’t kind of an automatic patron to every body… what with being the LORD OF THE SKY AND ALL.)
But I’m going to be going back to school very soon, and Apollo is totally into schooling, and more specifically I am going back to become a midwife, which is kind of even moreso Apollo’s thing, because of the healing / doctoring thing that he does.
Maybe if I get my own birthing center going I could set up a small altar to Apollo, Hestia, Artemis and Eileithyia, the deity of childbirth. I admit I don’t have any relationship one way or the other with Eileithyia, so I should probably work on that. Artemis seems to pretty much do her own thing, and I accept that, because, you know, she’s Artemis…
But if nothing else at least the first three. I remember hearing something like a week after a baby was born new parents would walk their child around the hearth and introduce their child to Hestia, since she’s the deity of the home.
Naturally, the altar probably shouldn’t be somewhere patients can see… Although if my pseudo-plans of moving to New Zealand pan out, as far as I’ve heard they’re a little more okay with funky little religions… We’ll see.
Outside my window…
It is an absolutely lovely day. It sprinkled bit and it made me happy that it’s been sprinkly for the past two days. The grass will drink it up, and hopefully it won’t be brown anymore soon. This summer is unusually hot.
I am thinking…
I am being funky about a million little things. I’ll be moving out around the end of August or the start of September, and I will finally be out of my parents and instead moving in with my most beloved best friend. <3
I am thankful…
That cherries are in season. That I have a wonderful boyfriend. That Chelsea won’t have to move away. I have a new TV show to follow. Life is well.
In the kitchen…
Since I haven’t been home of late, pretty much nothing. My mom made tacos for dinner. Nothing terribly exciting. I did take my BFF shopping for real food though.
I am wearing…
My hobos. I mean my pajamas.
I am creating…
If things go well, a garden soon! I want to plant tomatoes and onions and such before it’s too cold for them.
I am going…
To bed soon! <3
I am wondering…
Why my mice are so adorable.
I am reading…
A lot of tumblr, lately.
I am hoping…
For the best with an apartment, of coure.
I am looking forward to…
My parents no longer throwing out the things I wanted to keep.
I am learning…
How to longboard, actually. I bought one earlier today. So far I have had minimal injuries on boards with wheels.
Around the house…
Le sigh. It is an absolute mess. I am considering making napalm and bombing my room.
I am pondering…
How long I will be up tonight when I want to be asleep.
A favorite quote for today…
Fight Like A Girl!
Seriously, we’re really pretty awesome.
One of my favorite things…
A new discovery — You know those lovely Girl Scout cookies? Apparently the Girl Scouts paired up with Hershey’s, and created Thin Mint flavored Crunch Bars. It is best for my waistline that this is supposed to be a limited edition thing.
A few plans for the rest of the week:
A peek into my day…
Okay, for one, I will start with an admission — I will not claim to have a great relationship with Dionysus. Not that I dislike him or his behavior or his role among the Hellenic pantheon or anything like that. I’m just not that liberated, myself. I do have a friend who has a great respect [I don’t know that ‘worship’ is the right term, so I’ll use that for now.] for him along with some shamanic pursuits. I understand that Dionysus is not just some divine field-playing alcoholic. I see many merits in being free of the various trappings of ‘polite society’.
It might be because, as you can see by the blog, I am moreso devoted to Hestia, which, according to some, is being held down by ‘the man’, or, I’ve also heard someone call her a weak-willed chick in need of saving. (Which is just… ugh.)
Perhaps I am just not meant to be a liberated maenad.
Which I am okay with.
I am very content with the ways of Hestia, much as I haven’t been spending time at my altar.
Next part is libations!
Seriously, everybody, you don’t have to get this perfect. I have someone who is practically my kid sister who has expressed interest in Athena on a couple of occasions, but she doesn’t know how to make offerings, or ask for her blessing, or pray to her, or anything like that. We are trying very hard to teach her — Greek gods don’t demand your soul or perfection. Nor, really, do most pagan gods in general for that matter.
So if anyone wants to do a libation, or an offering, or start a circle, or something like that… some of the most simple rituals in the world can be the most effective. One of my favorite feelings is making a simple offering of barley and water to the Greek gods. Sometimes I goof, and I don’t spend every day at my altar, but I’ve yet to be smote by Zeus (*cross fingers*)… nor have I ever felt like they were really upset with me, even if I have been a silly, busy bear with life. They’re gods. They’re not going anywhere. And you don’t have to be afraid of them either. Surely, don’t pull a Hippolytus and call Aphrodite a whore or anything like that, nor, really, think that. But if you want to open up some kind of lines of communication, don’t be afraid of rejection. You’ll never know if you don’t say hi.
Hi all. Just wanted to say, I am, as the title says, not dead.
Instead, I am without a consistent internet connection.
My parents decided to get rid of our wi-fi, so I have to count on the wi-fi of the nearby church, which is sometimes consistent and at other times shoddy at best.
So I’ll start making sporadic posts once more. :)